I am feeling blue today. It's Valentine's day and as always, I am quietly single. I don't ever remember feeling sad about this before. I've never really cared about it being Valentine's day before. But now I walked home from the train station and I saw all these men old and young at the fruit stores and the 99 cent stores buying flowers and trinkets for some woman they have in their lives. And I'm thinking, I am not that woman to anyone.

Today there are articles galore out there reproving all of us girls who are crying a little on the inside simply because it is Valentine's day. I understand that what I am feeling may seem silly or pathetic and certainly fruitless, but I can't necessarily deny the fact that this day reminds me of that One who didn't love me back and the fact that I am growing older and want a family and haven't found or been found by anyone who shares that want. There's a deeper, more existential desire here than a craving for chocolate and no amount of flip fix-it advice can address it.

Alone Again

Image from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/31326347@N04/

There were no games, just silence. I've given up and am trying to move on. It seems I let my guard down too soon. This is the first time I've felt sad about not having anyone to do something for Valentine's Day with. ::sniff:: I think I'll plan a small outing for my sister and I and a few single girlfriends to make myself feel better. Cupcakes in the city maybe?