The Fishbowl

I feel so restless. I live in a city. I should be doing something or going somewhere. But instead I'm sitting in front of the computer poking around, checking the same pages. I feel like walking the streets. Just walking in downtown Manhattan. I wish I lived there. My neighborhood is safer and of course I can't just move to Manhattan with the rents so high and my job already so far away. But I don't love it here. I hate my life being so safe and uneventful. What can I do to be dangerous?

Right now I am just going to walk my dog here in my own neighborhood. At least I will be moving. It won't really satisfy me. Even walking downtown wouldn't do that. I'll feel more restless than ever. But it's something to do.

Intro

I want to express the thoughts and fears that I am experiencing as a young woman trying to establish herself in New York City. I am tired of my life the way it is. I feel like there is an invisible box preventing me from being a strong, expressive, active person. I am afraid of this box. What if it is an indelible part of me? A little success (miniscule in the grand scheme of things, yet large in my own life) has showed me just how difficult it is to actually live happily with one's self. It's so easy to create complication in life and stay busy to avoid the troublesome task of creating a life worth living. Could writing in here help me think all these things through clearly and break out of my box? There is always a chance, right?