Renewal

Recently I've been thinking over the reasons why I have this blog. I mostly use it to keep track of other blogs that I follow and have not been doing much writing here. What is this blog, really? It's about my life, but I meant it to be about exploring my s with regard to D/s. This is a little difficult to do when I have no D in my life. I have also been thinking about the general direction of of the way I live, like the things I am happy about, the things I am unhappy about, and the things I want to change.

Since moving back to New York I have achieved a few really important things in life and I am very happy about them. Despite the terrible economy, I have a stable job with an income that allows me to actually live decently in a very expensive city. I don't have a lot of money, but it's enough to live on and still save a tiny bit for retirement and things I need and want. I won't stay there forever, in fact, I plan on leaving within the next year and because I work at a really prestigious institution in my field, this job is undoubtedly going to help me get something even better when I do move on. And on top of all that, it even has set hours so I can do things after work and on weekends without having to worry about work all the time. Beyond work, I have managed to find an apartment that allows me to keep The Babe, is in a safe, comfortable, homey neighborhood, and feels "right," unlike the place where I used to live. Finally, I have a small group of really wonderful friends and have been developing friendships with some really great people at work.

It's wonderful, considering where I started out from, but I think the success I've created has also made me see other things about myself that I want to fix. These things didn't seem to matter as much when I was scrabbling around trying to survive at work while living in a horrible little basement of a house with people I didn't like. Now it's time for me to work on other aspects of my life.

I have decided that I can use this blog to help me improve myself and achieve these new personal goals. I am not in any kind of romantic relationship right now, least of all a D/s one. Since there is no outer D in my life right now, I am going to have to create it myself by imposing rules on myself. They are going to mostly be lifestyle goals, not sexual ones. Disappointing, I know, but for now my little substitution of my "higher" goal-oriented, active self is going to have to stand in for the more interesting and attractive option of a relationship with a dominant man. I will begin to set out my goals in my next post. Right now I need to start acting on them. Writing is great, but there is no substitute for action. I hope writing them down here will help me stay on track, because I don't have a lot of willpower and tend to fail at following through. Wish me luck.